The other day, I went to Wal-Fart. Gasp! I know!!!!
It was late at night and other stores were closed. That's exactly what you guys said the niche market for Wal-Mart was, right? So I thought, what they hey. I'm already out and I only need 4 random things.
The first thing was swim diapers. They had that. I had a heck of a time finding them because they were not, in fact, by the diapers, but other than that the swim diapers were a success. The happy story ends there.
Another thing I needed was a size 24 embroidery needle, so I was prepared for them to not have that because my need was pretty specific. Then again, they do carry sewing stuff unlike Target, so maybe I'd get lucky? Nope.
I also wanted tortillas, but not nasty, pasty Mission tortillas. I was prepared for them not to carry M's preferred tortilla brand since again, pretty specific. But at this point, in theory, it was still okay. I didn't really NEED the tortillas. I could make a special trip to a craft store for the needle. I had the swim diapers. So if I could find my final grocery item, I'd be saved a trip to the grocery store after the craft store.
All I was looking for was a package of mixed dried fruit. I was a little picky because we didn't want a tropical mix or the artificially sweetened craisins in the mix, but surely they would have that. I mean, what store wouldn't carry your basic prunes, apples, apricots kinda mix? Did I have unrealistic expectations? Seriously, tell me. Is that not as normal an item as I think it is? As I stood by the dried fruit staring at just prunes, just apricots, just raisins, tropical mix, or artificially sweetened berry mix, I started laughing. I'm sure the overweight man with B.O. next to me thought I was off my rocker, but Wal-Fart is just so consistent for me. Consistently disappointing.
Well, at least I had my swim diapers and in theory they should be cheaper there than anywhere else, right? Except for the 30 minutes of my life I lost waiting in line to check out were worth more than the 7 cents I saved. The checkers must actually PRACTICE to be so slow. When I finally got to check out, the checker watched me swipe my credit card, then turned and stared off into space for a long time while the credit card machine informed me that the checker needed to push the "credit" button for the transaction to continue. The checker JUST watched me swipe my card. Do so few people pay with credit that she forgot what step came next? Funny, Wal-Fart strikes me as the place where the clientele would rack up quite a bit of consumer debt. Maybe the umpteenth millionth time doing this credit card payment process just wasn't quite enough repetition to remember what she was supposed to do next. We'll just hope she was new. Or maybe she couldn't think about anything other than that Twinkie and cigarette she was planning on as soon as she got her break. Or maybe Wal-Mart likes to punish customers who use a credit card and therefore cost them credit card transaction fees by making them wait longer. Because, you know, anything to make a buck. If that's something Wal-Mart employees are suppose to aspire to, this lady must be "Wal-Fart Employee of the Month." Why don't they have the old lady handing out carts come run a freaking cash register so that at least they could make up for in checkout lane quantity what they lack in quality????
Anyway, don't worry. You won't have to read anymore rants about Wal-Mart for a long, long time because I WILL NOT be making the mistake of trying to go there again. Now excuse me, I have to go to the craft store AND the grocery store.